The State of Us

The State of Us
Created by Gerard Stembridge and Risteárd Cooper
Starring Risteárd Cooper
Country of origin Ireland
No. of episodes 4
Production
Running time ?? minutes per episode
Release
Original network Radio Telefís Éireann
Original release 22 April – 13 May 2007

The State of Us is a four-part comedy sketch show which broadcast on Irish television channel RTÉ One on Sunday nights at 21:40. It stars Risteárd Cooper, well known in Ireland for his part in the Après Match sketches. It is written by Gerard Stembridge and Risteárd Cooper and focuses on the clash between politicians and the media. It is filmed mostly in and around the RTÉ studios at Montrose. The first episode was broadcast on Sunday 22 April 2007.

Each episode focuses on a key Irish issue, with topics covered including the transport crisis, the health service debate and the justice portfolio. The show is presented in spoof documentary form. It was commissioned for broadcast at the time of the build-up to the 2007 general election.

The show poked fun at well-known media personalities including Late Late Show host Pat Kenny, retired chat-show host Gay Byrne, radio and television personality Gerry Ryan, Nationwide presenter Michael Ryan, sports commentator George Hamilton (who is parodied as a faceless, vertically challenged figure), radio veteran Marian Finucane, Winning Streak and Mooney Goes Wild presenter Derek Mooney, Liveline host Joe Duffy, journalist Fintan O'Toole, Prime Time presenter Miriam O'Callaghan and Newstalk broadcaster George Hook. Politicians featured include Tánaiste Michael McDowell, Labour Party leader Pat Rabbitte, former Labour leader Joan Burton, Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny, Sinn Féin president Gerry Adams, Minister for Transport Martin Cullen, Minister for Defence Willie O'Dea and Taoiseach Bertie Ahern, who never actually appeared in the show but can be heard taunting and insulting other politicians (mainly from his own party) on their mobile phones and in one exchange begging to be accepted for an interview with Pat Kenny. Minister for Health, Mary Harney also made a voice-appearance on radio during the series.

Episode guide

Episode one

Episode one was broadcast on Sunday 22 April 2007.

It followed Tánaiste and Minister for Justice, Michael McDowell's attempts to reach the RTÉ studios for a radio interview with Pat Kenny. Having endured a very long and tedious car ride to Donnybrook, during which he reprimands a number of thugs for urinating against a tree whilst a gang war erupts in the background, the Minister eventually lands at his destination only to be on the receiving end of Taoiseach, Bertie Ahern's taunts via mobile phone. Alas not a very good impression is left by the RTÉ staff on the Minister's arrival, with Marian Finucane being discovered indoors in a very compromising position with a cigarette whilst some very suspect plants arrive in the studio as Pat Kenny prepares to go on air. Michael McDowell, fearing that he has been set up, flees the building in panic, throwing the morning radio schedule into crisis.

Episode two

Episode two was broadcast at 21:40 on Sunday 29 April 2007.

Pat Kenny has a dilemma; he has an important interview with Minister for Transport Martin Cullen – should he choose his motorcycle or his car as his mode of transport to get to work on time? He selects the wrong option and his car becomes trapped in traffic on the M50. When nature calls, Pat must resort to the use of a sterilised surgical bottle to urinate. At RTÉ headquarters, Pat's assistant Tom is busy seeking a replacement to do his morning radio show and, with Gay Byrne turning up to save the day (much to Pat's disapproval), Tom then sets out in search of Pat. Cycling through the ever-increasing volume of traffic, Tom eventually reaches Pat who then tells him to go to his house and bring him his motorcycle. Meanwhile, Minister Martin Cullen (alongside his bevy of beauties) arrives at the RTÉ studios as Taoiseach Bertie Ahern learns for the first time that he is giving a radio interview. In an attempt to save face for the government, Minister Willie O'Dea is sent in on an undercover operation to smuggle Minister Cullen out of RTÉ.

Episode three

Episode three was broadcast at 21:40 on Sunday 6 May 2007.

A bout of food poisoning puts most of the RTÉ radio staff out of action. Tom is under immense strain trying to find replacements for morning radio with Derek Mooney covering for Pat Kenny on Radio 1 and television presenter Michael Ryan the only staff member available to step in for Gerry Ryan over on 2fm. With Ireland's health service in crisis, an ambulance is nowhere to be found so the trolleys begin to pile up at RTÉ headquarters. Miriam O'Callaghan attempts to cheer up the stricken patients but her efforts only serve to worsen the situation. Things go from bad to worse when Labour Party leader Pat Rabbitte, who is due for an interview, learns that Derek Mooney is doing Pat Kenny's show whilst Mooney on air mistakes Minister for Finance, Brian Cowen for Minister for Health, Mary Harney. at what she does best – moaning. With Pat Rabbitte having abandoned the interview, Tom must find a replacement with only former Labour leader Joan Burton available to fill in his shoes. George Hook is found in a stairwell and offers to help out, but Tom refuses. When he learns that the crisis was triggered by the sausages in the RTÉ canteen, George plies Joe Duffy with sausage rolls thus adding him to the list of casualties. With Liveline on a commercial break, Tom has no choice but to allow George to take over the show. It is then decided that Radio 1 and 2fm should run a simultaneous broadcast to ease the pressures of finding new presenters. At last an ambulance arrives but a row erupts over who should be the first to go to hospital, with Pat Kenny claiming that, as the highest paid broadcaster, he should be allowed to leave immediately. Gerry Ryan and Joe Duffy are non-too pleased and, as all this is going on, the ambulance drives off with Joan Burton inside, moaning about the pains in her legs from standing around in the confusion.

Episode four

Episode four was broadcast at 21:40 on Sunday 13 May 2007.

Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny appears at his back door in his boxers and invites viewers for a look around his house; including a (now fully dressed) encounter with his karaoke machine. He then sets off on his bicycle for an interview at RTÉ. Alas his attempts to get there unscathed come undone when his bike receives a puncture and he has to resort to queueing for a bus like the common person. When the bus arrives, he realises he has no money but after asking for some spare cash from an innocent bystander, he turns around to find the bus has pulled off again.

In the RTÉ carpark, Pat Kenny sits in his car, casting his eyes over his fellow broadcasters and enviously longing to join them in their casual conversation. When he finally plucks up the courage to approach Marian Finucane and Joe Duffy, the latter is overheard insulting him and Pat heads back to his car. With Pat due on air in ten minutes, Tom decides to join him in the passenger seat but he must first overcome the clutches of George Hook, who once again attempts to lure him to Newstalk. Pat asks Tom what the world really thinks of him, believing that his assistant is the only person in the world who is loyal to him. Tom attempts to avoid the question, distracting Pat by (wrongly) telling him that Enda Kenny has just arrived. Eventually Tom opts to tell Pat, albeit with much hesitation, that he is "absolutely unbelievable".

"He's about as irreplaceable as a pair of Popey's underpants!"

George Hook to Tom on Pat Kenny

At that moment Enda Kenny finally arrives at the studio, still in his biker gear and collapses with exhaustion on the steps having raced through Dublin to make the interview on schedule. Kenny and Kenny square off on air and, with Pat faced with an adversary so similar in perceived personality, popularity and name he is even more unable to cope with his feelings of unworthiness than usual. Pat breaks down live on air, mistaking Enda's rival Bertie Ahern for his own rival Joe Duffy. This prompts Enda to join him in his moment of unrelenting emotion.

The next morning Tom arrives at Pat's house. Pat assumes he has come with his P45 or details of who is to take over the mantle of the station's highest earning broadcaster. However Tom merely points to two giant sacks of mail (all complimentary) he has carried on his bike from RTÉ headquarters. One of them even wants to sleep with the presenter, who quickly places the letter in the left front pocket of his dressing gown. Pat is astounded to discover he is all over the news and that celebrities such as Linda Martin, Louis Walsh and Ronan Keating are talking about him. He hurries indoors to switch on his television. There he finds that figures from the worlds of sport and politics (including Irish national football team manager Steve Staunton, Ireland rugby manager Eddie O'Sullivan and Sinn Féin President Gerry Adams) are lining up in their droves to pay tribute to him.

"He's been through thick and thin, after delivering himself a fantastic result... when you're under the spotlight you expect pressure... when you're under the microscope you expect – spotlights! He's come through this with flying colours... he's the gaffer, just like me... what more can you say?"

Steve Staunton gets carried away in his tribute to Pat Kenny

He is intrigued to find Fintan O'Toole has also spoken greatly of him but becomes irritated when he finds that Steve Staunton seems to have taken over the airwaves, typically reiterating how Pat has done a great job, how he works for the team, has delivered a great result and what else can you say. Meanwhile, Taoiseach Bertie Ahern repeatedly rings Tom's mobile to request an interview with Pat, but on each occasion Tom tells him to ring back later.

Pat and Tom stroll into RTÉ, where George Hook is astounded to hear of Pat's newfound popularity. He is adamant that Tom will soon join him at Newstalk but Tom shows his unswaying loyalty by declaring he will go only where Pat goes. On Friday night George slips into RTÉ and, just as The Late Late Show is coming to a close, approaches Pat's dressing room. Hooky is inadvertently knocked to the floor by a stray microphone where he lies moaning until Pat emerges from the dressing room. Pat steps over George (still groaning in agony) and leaves RTÉ with Tom, telling his assistant that he should not allow anyone to undermine him before demanding that he open the door.

See also

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